River

Basal 78th, 1042

Interestingly enough, Refuge’s temple in Horizon Hills was only a stone’s throw away from the area Alo told her Refuge was sealed up at. …’Sealed’ might have been a strong word, in Refuge’s case; Alo had explained the first time they had found her around three years ago, she was wandering the moors in the area, a pack of wolves following her. It was more apt to say her mind had been distorted. She behaved violently and seemed unaware of anything substantial, acting on instinct only to protect herself, according to Alo’s account.

If River considered it, all of the Gods so far had been in proximity to their temples. She hadn't found Alo too far from their temple by a swamp out from Fawn Creek. Remedy’s temple was forty minutes from Glassview. Seiche’s temple was on the largest of the Atlas Islands, and Alo said he had been under the sea an hour away from there, at the coast on the East Twilight Desert. If the other Gods followed this pattern, they could at least zero in on the other two unfound Gods, who they had little clues about in the first place. Kuiper had pointed out places that had reputations for being cursed or otherwise Gods’ forsaken places, and River was grateful he was clever; everyone in their group had been helpful thus far, in one way or another.

River did have to wonder why the Sol and Lunar Gods sealed the Gods so close to their respective temples. Then again– which happened first, the Gods getting trapped in this realm, or the temples being constructed? So much history from the dark age before Thauma was lost; it was nearly impossible to know. And she had looked before, tried to look into where exactly Thauma even came from– it just appeared in the six temples of the minor Gods from pools of liquid, seemingly with no source besides ‘the Upper Realm’. Had it appeared there and the temples constructed around it, or had it not appeared until the temples were built?

Alo, as hard as they tried to recall, could not really give her more information than ‘well, it’s a gift from us because we love mortals’, they had no clue where it really came from, either, or which happened first, and they didn’t seem overly concerned. But River was frustrated and hoped once they found Fillip that she would have more information as the patron of knowledge, her domain being over Art and Sciences. Because if the Gods were here trapped in this realm, the source of Thauma was likely something in the Upper Realm, right? And River was considered an expert on Thauma; she felt obligated to find out and document what she could.

Refuge was the first priority, though, since they knew where she was; or at least, the general area.

And she had a decent idea of how to quickly zero in on the God. Once they arrived in Horizon Hills, a considerably smaller village compared to the bustle of Windeen City, she walked to a small farm on the outskirts. It was early in the morning, but not too early for farmers to be starting their daily work. She knew she’d have better luck there than trying at any shops right now.

A few exmoor unicorns, small and fuzzy, lifted their heads and lazily eyed her before going back to grazing. A trail of night grouse walked across the path from a coop, probably expecting some food from them. Alo dropped to their knees, greeting the plump birds with soft cooing and head pats.

“We don’t get too many travelers through here. You folks on your way to Aquarius Point?” A stout man walked over, the bottom of his overalls wet from the damp moss and bracken underfoot. “Well, someone’s friendly with the ladies,” he snorted, looking at Alo.

“They’re very well cared for. What sweet girls.” Alouette said with a little smile.

“They’re spoiled.” The man said, but River caught the affection in his tone.

“We’re actually traveling in search of…something like a ghost story, admittedly, we don’t have enough information.” River leaned on the fence, nodding towards the animals. “Somewhere in this area. Animals have a sense for things like that. Have they been skittish lately?”

“You a Wonderworker? I’ve been sayin’ we need someone to come take care of that; it ain’t a ghost or nothing, but there’s a pack of wolves. ‘Skittish’ don’t do it justice. Farms here to Bailysdale’ve been gettin’ all torn up over it,” he muttered. “Not mine, mind. But plenty o’ others, all their birds gettin’ gored.”

“Why do you suppose yours hasn’t been targeted? You’re on the border of the village, you’d think if they’re wandering the moors, yours would be an easy one to get to,” River said.

“No idea; it ain’t like my uni ponies are anything intimidatin’, little as they are, neither are the ‘coons in the back pen, though they like to posture like they are. I chalked it up to luck, not gonna complain or try ‘n jinx it.”

River considered this. The fences around the farm wouldn’t have been able to keep very determined wolves out; they were short and flimsy, lined with softly glowing lights around the perimeter.

“Look, ma’am, even if you are a professional,” the man said as he eyed her Wonderworking Wand that was strapped to her waist, “I’d reckon it to be a bad idea to go lookin’ for wolves right now. It’ll get light in about two hours, ‘n then you’ll have about an hour before it starts gettin’ dark again. Guessin’ by your accent you’re from Fern Helion…it’d be awful if you came all this way and got hurt ‘cause you didn’t know the area ‘n fell in a hole in the moor or somethin’ ‘cause it’s dark...”

His concern was sweet; he had no way of knowing Alo could see in the dark just fine and guide her. Their eyes were shaded by their glasses right now, hiding the golden glow their eyes gave off. She patted her bag.

“We do have a flashlight, but thank you very much. I don’t suppose you could tell us where the last attack was?”

“...Don’t know if it was really the most recent, but last one I heard ‘bout was a place ‘round twenty minutes up the only road headed west. Farm of a fella called Oliver. Y’not gonna have much luck goin’ there, though.”

“Why?” Alouette asked, finally pulling themself away from petting the birds. The birds trailed after them, nipping at their robes. The man snorted.

“‘Cause Oliver ain’t friendly like other folks around here. He's real private ‘n won’t take so well to strangers, even if y’all are tryin’ to help. His ex-wife lives in town now, nicest lady you’ll ever meet, and even she ain’t got nothin’ good to say about him.”

“Is that so?” River asked. “Well, thank you for your help. We’ll get out of your way and let you get back to work, sir.”

“Jecks,” he offered a hand to her, and River shook it.

“River, and this is Alo,” River said, and Alo offered a wave instead of shaking the man’s hand.

“...You don’t mean River of Fawn Creek, do you?” Jecks asked. “Well damn. Uh– pardon my language, ma’am. Just didn't think it was so serious that they’d send someone known as you to handle it. You sure I can’t do more, like answer any other questions? Or– my kids’ll be up soon, you could stay for breakfast, or take some food for the road?”

“You’re very kind, but no, we really have to be going. It’s appreciated. You’ve been a big help.”

He nodded, dazed. “Well, you both be careful, then.”

Once they got far enough from the town, Alo pushed their sunglasses up on the top of their head and unfurled their cloak, letting their wings stretch out.

“Well, we have a direction at least,” they noted. “But this Oliver guy probably won’t want to talk, huh…”

“I don’t think we need to talk to him at all. I’d just like for you to look at the state of his farm for me. Speak to any birds on or near it, if the wolves didn’t eat all of them. Ask what they saw, what direction the wolves went in, then come back.”

“Okay, can do!” Alouette offered a thumbs up before flying off. River already had a hunch as to what the animals would say.

Minutes later Alouette landed in front of her, considerably more disheveled than they had been before taking off, little feathers sticking to their shoulders that weren’t their own.

“Uh– well, aha, that could have gone better!”

“What happened?” She asked. Alouette plopped down on the ground beside her, ignoring how wet the ground was. She herself had sat on a stump, which was a little less damp.

“Not many night grouses were left after the wolf attack. Three, which was enough for me to carry off that dreadful plot of land! …He saw me taking them and was not happy. It’s fine,” they grumbled. “Because I got those birds out and dropped them on another, nicer farm I saw on the way. You know what they told me?”

“That they weren’t being properly cared for?” River guessed. Alo’s eyes widened.

“How did you know?”

“You saw how well Jecks animals were doing, and his farm was left alone despite its convenient location. This other fellow gets his farm ransacked. I thought he might not be treating his animals so well. He couldn’t even treat his ex-wife well, according to gossip. Refuge is the patron of protection,” River sighed. “A part of her is still doing that; not in the best way, since the animals are the ones suffering, but…” River pressed her lips together. Actually, Jecks had specified it was birds ‘getting gored’. “What about the other animals on Oliver’s farm? Did you get a look at them?”

“You know animals that aren’t birds get weird around me,” Alouette sighed, wringing their hands together. “He had some other pens, but I didn’t really get a close enough look to tell you what all of them were. Maybe some were minks?”

“And the cage's conditions?”

“I…guess they were fine? The fence was messed up, and the bird’s coops, but besides that…” they trailed off. “Oh...You think she’s just going after birds?”

“We don’t really have enough information to say that. We should talk to other people who–”

“She probably is. She’s probably mad at me, too. She was mad last time I saw her. She wanted to kill me.” Alouette stood up, eyes glowing in the dark. It was very rare that River saw them actually angry, but they looked furious. “Being mad at me is one thing; but targeting innocent little birds because they’re mine?”

“We don’t know that; and you’ve said she isn’t in her right mind right now–”

“They didn’t do anything, they’re just little animals! And I certainly didn’t do anything! I’m trying to save all of them!” They balled their fists up and flared their wings.

It was getting lighter outside, the sky turning a soft pink-gold. Alouette’s wings shimmered and pulsed gold in time with their words, flickering like a light show.

Alouette didn’t seem to notice the peaking dawn on the horizon, too absorbed in their little fit. But River did, her stomach knotting itself with anxiety, something she hadn’t truly felt in a long time.

It wasn’t due to get light for another hour, at least. It was too early for a dawn in Lacus Mare.

“Birdie, let’s calm down. When we find her, we will sort it out. Personal as it may feel, don’t you suppose the other Gods’ all have blood on their hands? You know Remedy made people ill and killed them by accident when they got too close to her maze; you know Seiche must have pulled sailor’s ships down into the sea when he raged beneath it. It’s not their fault. It’s not really Refuge trying to hurt them, not if she’s not in her right mind.”

“She doesn’t deserve to get you as a vessel,” they crossed their arms, “In the first place, if she’s snarling and has wolves at my heels, how am I going to put her in any vessel?”

“I’ll have to use her Thauma, keep the two of us safe. And then I’ll try to see if I can talk to her. If that doesn’t work, we’ll have to leave to figure something else out,” River said. She didn’t like the idea of leaving when they were so close, but they might not have a choice depending on how far gone Refuge was.

“I guess if anyone could talk to her, it would be you,” Alouette sighed. “Okay, fine, let’s try and make this work! I’m sure if we help her, she will apologize for the birds… Do you want me to fly around and see if I can spot her from above? That’d probably be faster, right? And hey, now that the sun is coming up, it’ll be way easier to spot her!”

They didn’t realize it wasn’t time for the sun to come up, and River wasn’t eager to offer that information. She nodded.

“Just don’t get too close, and come right back if you spot her. Or if an hour passes without spotting her.”

“Okay!”

She watched them take off into the sky effortlessly. A nice flight in the cool air might do them good, calm them down. When they had been a child, Alouette had sometimes accidentally transformed things without meaning to. Turning the water into broth during bath time, changing a pair of her favorite shoes into a pair of toys, and, well, the mismatched colored furniture had been too charming for River to bear to ask them to change back, still all rainbow to this day. They had gotten a handle on it quickly with her help, and it never happened without them meaning to these days.

She had never seen them change something on such a large scale. Transforming the time of day? She was under the impression that that was the domain of the Sol and Lunar Gods only. Alouette thought that, too, from the discussions they’d had about the various Gods and their abilities.

Then again, there was a lot Alo didn’t know. The sheer scale of that, the sun rising far too fast– Fern Helion must have dipped into evening quickly, too. She swallowed. Meteorologists and scientists would be having a field day with this.

And Alouette had done it without even noticing.

They really needed to prioritize finding Fillip next; if anyone would have knowledge on this, it would be her.

River wondered if the Sol and Lunar Gods, strong as they were, hadn’t been able to entirely handle the six minor gods between them and had locked them away because of things like this. If the other Gods powers had been unwieldy as Alo’s were– well, River was willing to try and help Alouette however she could. The solution to children with power they couldn’t control wasn’t to kick them out, it was to stay with them, to nurture and teach them. With power like that, doing anything else would put everyone in danger. Had she not found Alo– had they grown up bitter and alone and never bothering to trying to control their Divinity… River didn’t want to consider it.

When she closed her eyes, she saw the skyline flicker from night to dawn in an instant and she shuddered. Maybe it hadn’t been them; maybe it had been the Lunar God or the Sol God trying to send a message. But it had been lost on Alouette either way, visible to only her.

Alouette landed in front of her with a sweep of wind.

“I found her!”

River took a breath and stood up. “Well, lead the way.”

“You’re sure I can’t fly you?”

“You know the answer to that,” River said. Alouette laughed. No, River had never been fond of flying. She had let them try to fly her maybe two times, probably five or six years ago, and she had gotten dreadfully nauseous.

“Suit yourself! There’s no houses or farms or anything for a ways out, it’s all just open moors. …Guess I can understand why people’d be hesitant to settle around here,” they said before leaping back into the air, staying low so they could chat. “She isn’t even so far away, I saw the wolves before I saw her. They’re big and dark, but she kind of blends into the mist.”

The mist did hang heavy over the moors, so thick River could hardly see ten feet in front of herself. If Alouette was having any problems with it, they weren’t letting on, happy to be able to fly around since no one would see them.

“Her element is the mist itself, isn’t it? Do you suppose it’s worse the closer we get to her for a reason?”

“Oh! Good point. I can clear it, if it’s bothering you,” Alouette offered.

“No, she’s probably trying to use it to protect herself. Let her blanket herself with it, if that keeps her more at ease.” Mist wasn’t the only thing hanging in the air; the atmosphere was heavy with dread and apprehensiveness. Despite the sense of foreboding she trudged onwards, her boots sinking into the squishy earth.

A pair of teeth as white as the mist cut through it and she barely had time to grab her Wonderworking Wand in time to protect herself from the dark wolf. Scarlet Thauma exploded from her wand, droplets as red as blood sending the wolf tumbling backwards. They had surrounded the two of them, circling them and snarling at the shield she had put up, unable to get closer.

Alouette stayed pressed to her back and still. She’d enforced a rule a long time ago: they weren’t to use their power on living things. Exceptions included things like dying their own hair, or equally innocent self-modifications. If they were to change someone else, it had to be entirely cosmetic and consensual; she could see it in their eyes, though, and in their stance, their fingers splayed wide and their nails lit up gold, that they had been prepared to transform the wolves into something less dangerous.

“Don’t.” She warned, and they gave a curt nod. They at least respected her enough to trust they were safe as long as she was using Thauma, and they knew it took all of her concentration to do this much. “Refuge?” River asked. “Refuge, we aren’t here to hurt you. Please, hear us out.”

Nothing should have been able to touch her or to get around the Thauma that shielded them; but River felt cool fingers wrap around her wrist, something pulling her away from Alouette. She swallowed, letting herself be walked forward. Alouette tried to follow, but she put a hand up.

“Go up; I can’t keep the shield up forever, and I think she wants to speak alone.”

“But–”

“I’ll let you know when she’s ready, Alouette, please.”

They stared at her, reluctant before they shot up into the sky. They were watching, and they’d intervene if something went wrong. That was a small comfort.

“Refuge?” she asked again, softer. Before her, the mist shaped itself into something almost humanoid, but it flickered and faded, like it couldn’t hold that form very well.

“You know me, as I know your gift. You can feel my intentions, can’t you? I won’t hurt you, I have no intention to hurt your wolves, either, I’m just keeping them from hurting me,” River offered a hand, her other still clutching her Wonderworking Wand.

Refuge’s eyes were visible now, pure white and milky, and she looked up at Alouette, then back at River with a shake of her head.

“They’ll stay there until you’re ready,” River assured them. Refuge shook her head again, more aggressively, and River frowned.

“You can’t stay here like this; don’t you want to see the other Gods again? I know it’s hard; I know you’re frightened, and feel betrayed by the Sol and Lunar Gods, but–”

“No,” Refuge whispered, her voice wet and cold and heavy as the mist was that made her up. Then she pointed a single finger to the sky, where Alouette was. “No,” she repeated. When she spoke, River could see fangs, sharp as a beast’s.

But then the God fell into herself, the mist reshaping as a woman in the fetal position, clutching her head protectively. River sank down to her level, gently pushing past the wolves that snarled protectively in front of Refuge.

“It is a brave thing, to protect yourself. I spent so much of my life just as you are now, trying to keep myself safe. I remember the fear. Being backed into a corner, feeling like the world was collapsing in on me and suffocating me. Then, even when I was strong enough that I could protect myself, there was someone else, and… I couldn’t keep them safe. The one person most important to me,” River felt her eyes growing hot. “And after that, I wanted to close myself off further; I thought that if I didn’t keep myself closed off from that grief, it would have consumed me, would have killed me. But honey, you have to feel it. You have to, to leave this place. It hurts, and it’s scary, but I will be by your side, and I will shoulder as much as I can for you. Everything is going to be alright.”

Refuge moved closer to her, laying a balled up fist against the center of River’s collarbone. White static-laced tears were falling down her face, the center of her eyes red.

“I remember–” and Refuge’s voice crackled like a bad e-call connection. No– it was like a recording of River’s own voice, chopped up and replayed back, like a ransom note read aloud, equally nonsensical. “I couldn’t keep them safe. I wanted– it hurts – I wanted– them– consumed. Closed off. Me. Scary. Have to– you have to. Leave– Them. Important.”

“Maybe your mind will mend when you can rest. I am offering myself as a vessel to you. I will keep you safe,” River tried again. “I keep people safe; you will be able to help me do that. If you mean the other Gods– they are almost all freed; you are the fourth of the minor Gods we’ve found; Seiche, Remedy, and– well, you see Ash, don’t you? They all want to help.”

Refuge leaned against River’s ear, whispering harshly once again in River’s own voice, chopped up from what River had said.

“Ash. Hurts. Seiche. Remedy. Me. Important. Help– you. Leave. Them. Couldn’t keep them safe. Seiche. Remedy. Me. Gods.” Her voice continuously grew more hysterical and staticy, and River tensed.

“Ash isn’t killed or hurt; none of the Gods are hurt. They’re safe; you’re all going to be okay, and I won’t leave them, or you.” River held the God as she sobbed, guttural and angry-sounding. The surrounding pack of wolves tried to lay against her, tried to comfort her, and River slowly pulled the scarlet Thauma out of the air, dropping the shield. The wolves made no move to attack her, focused entirely on their God.

“Want to help,” Refugee finally said, once she was less hysterical. “You– I keep –safe. Vessel. I will. Ash.”

“Thank you; I know trusting isn’t easy, but I swear to you that you will be safe.”

“Gods. Safe.” Refuge said.

“Yes, them, too. You’re ready for Alo- ah, Ash to come back down? To let me host you?”

“Yes. Safe. Let me.” Refuge repeated. River nodded, and signaled for Alo to come back down.

They landed a few feet away and walked up slowly, cautious and maintaining eye contact. They kept their hands up and looked at River. She nodded, and they knelt down, offering a hand.

“Hi, Refuge. This is what I’ve already done to the others I’ve found, so I’ve already tried it. It’s gonna be okay. And…are you feeling a little better? River helped me, too, you know.” they said gently.

“River,” she repeated in Alo’s voice. They startled, looking at River. She gave a light shrug. If that was the only way Refuge’s fractured mind could speak, then it would have to work for now. Perhaps she could teach Refuge sign language if nothing else. “River. Host. I keep safe. Better. Ash, too hurt.”

“Oh, no, I’m not hurt! Or are you asking if it will hurt when I put you in River? It…shouldn’t, I don’t think. I’ll need your hand–” And the second they reached out, one of the wolves snarled at them. They drew their hand back, looking at River desperately. River cleared her throat, and Refuge made another growling noise before the wolf whined and stepped back.

Refuge lunged and grabbed Alouette’s hand so hard she was drawing blood– something impressive for someone made of mist at the moment. Alouette winced, but didn’t move away.

River recognized that gaze that Refuge was directing at Alouette. It was one she had directed at her former husband; she had caught a look at herself in a mirror when he had cornered her, that last night he had been alive. She had barely recognized herself, an angry, desperate animal more than a woman, fangs bared and red on her hands that wasn’t from the Thauma she had used.

Maybe Refuge’s mind was fractured, but that emotion on her face…it was so raw it scared River. Scared her it was directed at her child.

Scared her how honest it was.

River’s hand was shaking when she offered it to Alouette. They took it and their eyes were filled with honey-sweet concern, clearly silently asking if she was sure about this. They thought that’s where her doubt lay. No. If anything, seeing Refuge that way only solidified her resolve.

She gave a final nod before her vision swam with red. The world thrashed– no, her body did, but she could barely recognize it as her own, her heart beating so fast she could almost swear it had stopped and had given out entirely. She took several harsh breaths, her limbs numb, before feeling started filling them again, a pins-and-needles sensation.

“-Er? River?! Ri– oh, thank Gods, you’re okay!” Alouette was hugging her. She hugged them back, her breaths coming out in sharp gasps. She wondered how long they’d been calling her name, shaking her. She could guess that if she was to look in a mirror right now, that the center of her eyes would be a sharp neon red.

She felt Refuge, her presence hanging around like a silent ghost just behind her, breathing against her neck. Felt the intensity of her emotions, and it made River want to scream and cry until she was totally devoid of any air in her lungs. She let those emotions wrack her body while she held onto Alouette for support, until she said to herself, in her own mind: okay, we are going to calm down right now, for this moment, so we can leave this place– and she sucked in breaths of air, soothing both herself and Refuge.

“Rest as long as you need. You’re safe, you can rest,” River reassured her again, out loud, for what was probably the dozenth time. She would say it as many times as she had to. She wasn’t sure if Refuge could sleep in a true sense unless River was also sleeping, but she felt Refuge’s presence and intensity fade considerably; it was at least something adjacent to sleep.

“We should…go back to Windeen,” River said to Alouette, breathless and exhausted. “I’m okay.”

They frowned. “No– maybe we should take a day or two to rest ourselves before then, you need to get adjusted, and, respectfully, you don’t seem fi–”

“I’m fine. And Refuge will be, too, with time. Our next stop after Windeen City will be the capital. We can rest there.”

Alouette sighed very quietly. River didn’t want to argue with them about this, but they were clearly unhappy.

“Will you at least let me carry you until you catch your breath? I’ll fly very slowly,” they assured her.

She didn’t argue.